Geek Family Kitchen: FNAF Pumpkin Carving

     I love Halloween. I love all things Halloween. I also love Five Nights at Freddy's, especially the Marionette. That's why Lydia and I decided to carve the Marionette into a pumpkin.



     There is nothing better than spending time with people you love in ways that don't always involve food. And crafting is one our absolute favorites.



What You'll Need:

Newspaper or towels to protect your surface and for easy cleanup

Pumpkin

Pattern

Masking tape

Awl

Carving tools

Paintbrush

Craft glue

Purple glitter

Red glitter

Black paint

Candle



Directions:

1. Cut an access hole in your pumpkin.



2. Scoop "guts" out and clean pumpkin up.



3. Tape pattern down.



4. Poke holes around pattern lines to make a guide for your carving.



5. Cut out parts you want hollow.



6. Peel off parts you want semi-opaque.



7. Leave other parts solid.



8. Paint glue on the parts you want to be purple, and sprinkle purple glitter.



9. Paint glue on the parts you want to be red, and sprinkle red glitter.



10. Paint parts you want black with black paint.



11. Place candle in pumpkin and light for good, clean Halloween fun!

Dorky Dates: Picnic & Tombstone Rubbings

     Some graveyards are absolutely beautiful. And why not? Wouldn't you want your final resting spot to be in a gorgeous location? That doesn't even take into account how beautiful some tombstones are. If you want to make a haunting memory of your day, grab some paper and chalk pastels, pack a picnic, and do a little research.


Cost
This date can cost a little bit of money (not much), due to the fact that you need to have the proper supplies to rub tombstones (large paper, chalk pastels or charcoal, a mailing tube for safe keeping, hairspray or Krylon sealer) and the supplies for a picnic (cooler, food, blanket, etc.).


Graveyard Etiquette
Be respectful! This is the final resting place of people who were beloved by their friends and families. Make sure you have permission from the cemetery management to make rubbings, as it is prohibited in some cemeteries. If there are others there who are mourning their loved ones, make sure to have the utmost respect. Treat this as an anthropological study, and possibly scout out a separate (preferably close) location for your picnic.


Who Would Enjoy It
While Ray and I were the only ones who went on this date, this date could be interesting for a group. Just make sure you pick your group from people you know can be respectful. This is not a good outing for your rowdier friends, especially the ones who like to drink and cause trouble. And while you might enjoy a bottle of wine or champagne at your picnic, this may not be the proper time for this activity (unless you have your picnic afterwards and in a different location).


What You May Need
Picnic Supplies:

• Comfortable places to sit or lay down

• A blanket or tablecloth for sitting on

• A picnic basket or tote for your dishes, napkins, utensils, etc.

• Dishes, cups or bottles, napkins, eating utensils, serving utensils, containers for your food and drinks
• Cooler for food and drinks

• Food and drink that are good for picnic, i.e. portable, finger foods, tasty morsels for you to enjoy (We took sweet potato salad with chunks of ham in it, sunbutter stuffed dates, carrot sticks, and water with tea bags to give it a different flavor. Had we not been doing a Whole30, we probably would have included something chocolate.)

Tombstone Rubbing Supplies:

• Large paper

• Artist charcoal, chalk pastels, or crayons (crayons do not work as well in my opinion)
• Masking tape can be used, but it may mess up some of the older tombstones, so use with care
• Hairspray or Krylon sealer to preserve your rubbings, especially if you are using charcoal or chalk pastels
• Mailing tube to store your rubbings
• Soft bristle toothbrush, water, and soft cloth for drying (this can help remove debris from a dirty tombstone)

Special Considerations
No one wants to mess up a tombstone, so be careful. Make sure that the stones you want to rub are solid by giving them light knock. If they sound hollow, try a different stone. Some stones may need to be cleaned before they can be rubbed. You can do this with a soft bristled brush. You may also need water to loosen some of the crud that has accumulated. You will also want to do this when it has been clear weather for several days because wet tombstones will not work. Windy weather may also not be your best bet, as the paper may not want to cooperate. 

Geek Family Kitchen: 4 Game Night Dips

Do you love creamy dips, but hate the crappy ingredients you find in the processed varieties in the store? Then you're in luck! These dips are perfect for chips, vegetables, and anything else you can think of. And you can make them with just a few ingredients and a lot of patience.

I know, patience is not a strength for most people today, but believe me when I say it's worth it. Homemade mayonnaise takes a lot of patience. After that, just add your favorite ingredients to turn this creamy colloid into a delicious dip.

Homemade Avocado Oil Mayonnaise:

Ingredients:

2 eggs

1 freshly squeezed lemon

1 17 oz. bottle of avocado oil (separate out 1/4 cup)

3/4 tsp. sea salt

3/4 tsp. mustard powder

Directions:

1. Combine eggs and lemon juice together and allow to come to room temperature. This will take 15 to 30 minutes.

2. Once they've reached room temperature together, add in the 1/4 cup of oil, salt, and mustard powder. Blend thoroughly.

3. While mixing the ingredients on high, slowly pour in the rest of the oil. This takes a lot of patience. If you do this step too quickly, it will not create an emulsion. If you do this by hand, it will take even more patience, because you will have to mix vigorously, add a little oil, mix vigorously, add a little oil, repeat. If you use and immersion blender (the fastest way), you will blend with the stick, add a little oil, blend, add oil, repeat. If you use a food processor with a hole in the lid, just run it as you add the oil through the hole, but still, pour it very slowly.

Honey Mustard:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup mayonnaise

2 Tbs. honey

1 Tbs. gluten-free mustard

1/4 tsp. dried dill

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly.

2. Enjoy now or refrigerate.

Cooling Spice Dip:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1/4 tsp. turmeric

1/4 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. cumin

1/4 tsp. dried oregano

1/4 tsp. black pepper

1/4 tsp. onion powder

1/4 tsp. garlic powder

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly.

2. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours to allow the flavors to blend.

"Cheesy" Ranch Dip

Ingredients:

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1 Tbs. full-fat coconut milk

1 tsp. dried dill

1/2 tsp. dried parsley flakes

Dash of black pepper

1/4 tsp. onion or garlic powder

1/4 tsp. smoked paprika

1 Tbs. nutritional yeast flakes

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly.

2. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours to allow the flavors to blend.

Creamy Guacamole

Ingredients:

1/2 cup mayonnaise

2 ripe avocados

1/4 tsp. cumin

1/4 tsp. onion powder or 1 diced onion

Cayenne pepper to taste

2 Roma tomatoes, diced

Directions:

1. Combine mayonnaise and avocado and mix thoroughly.

2. Add cumin, onion powder (if using), and cayenne, and mix thoroughly.

3. Stir in diced tomatoes and diced onion (if using).

4. Serve immediately, or refrigerate no more than a couple of hours, as the avocado will oxidize and look disgusting.

Beets and Sweets Chips:

Ingredients:

Sweet potatoes

Beets

Lard or coconut oil for frying

Sea salt

Directions:

1. Heat oil to between 365 and 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Cut vegetables to desired thickness. I suggest you cut them very thin if you are going for a chip consistency.

3. Fry vegetables. Sweet potatoes are easy to tell when they are done because they get a golden brown. Beets are harder to tell. They are best when crispy.

Geek Family Kitchen: Lightsaber Hilt

     When Ray made a lightsaber for himself years ago, you can bet I was jealous. I was busy with school and my art projects at the time and didn't have much time for crafts. I tried to get Ray to make me one, but he insisted that it was a craft that should be individualized. When I asked him what he wanted to do for the video, he suggested we make lightsabers together, since I never made my own. I was thrilled!



     Now you can make your own. This doesn't have any sort of light or blade, but it can be worn as a cool prop for your favorite Jedi costume.



What You'll Need:

3/4" wooden dowel

Sand paper

Faucet handle

Faucet head

1/2" hose clamp

Epoxy

Metallic spray paint

Mod Podge or other sealer

Craft foam

Crystal

Button-sized jewel or semi-precious stone



Directions:

1. Cut your dowel to the length you want your hilt to be. Sand the dowel with sand paper.



2. Drill pilot hole at one end of dowel. Pop end off faucet handle and replace the screw that it came with with a wood screw. Attach the handle to the dowel with the wood screw and replace the faucet end.



3. Fill in the gap between the faucet handle and dowel with epoxy or similar substance. Smooth it to desired taper. Allow it to dry or harden.



4. Fit hose clamp onto dowel. Set it to where you'd like your switch to be. Tighten clamp.



5. Taper the end of the dowel opposite the end with the handle. If you want your faucet head to retain its original colors, leave it off. If you want it a homogeneous color, glue it on. (We started with E600, but found out the hot glue actually works better.)



6. Sand the plastic pieces of your lightsaber to give them a rougher texture to better hold the paint.



7. Spray paint the lightsaber thoroughly. Allow to dry for 24 hours.



8. Seal the lightsaber with Mod Podge or other sealer. Allow to dry for 24 hours.



9. If you left the faucet head off for painting, it is now time to attach it with hot glue. If you left it on, skip to step 10.



10. Decorate your lightsaber with strips of craft foam.



11.  Finish the saber off by gluing the crystal into the end of the faucet head and the jewel or stone onto the switch.

Geek Family Kitchen: Five Nights at Freddy's-Inspired Gluten-Free Pizza

Freddy Fazbear's Award-Winning Gluten-Free Pepperoni Pizza



     This pizza was inspired by one of our favorite series of horror games: Five Nights at Freddy's. If you don't know what that is, it's a game full of creepy animatronics that jump-scare you any time you mess up. The game was designed by Scott Cawthon, a Christian game designer who created a game called Chipper & Sons Lumber Co. Sadly, his earlier attempts at game design fell flat, and the aforementioned Chipper & Sons Lumber Co. was unintentionally terrifying with people citing that his CGI characters looked like creepy animatronics.



     If you do know the game, then you know that the Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria has many pictures on the walls of its iconic pepperoni pizza. We couldn't find good, high-quality, gluten-free pepperoni, so we had to use our favorite salami and cut it smaller with a cookie cutter to achieve the desired look of Freddy's pizza.



Our pizza crust is one of our family's absolute favorite. It is a slight variation on Kelly Bejelly's Pizza Crust from her book: Paleo Eats. You can also find her recipe on her website. This crust is a bit tricky, but well worth it.



Ingredients:

Pizza Crust:

1/2 cup water

1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 Tbs. nutritional yeast (optional for cheesy flavor)

1 tsp. sea salt

1 tsp. onion powder

1 tsp. basil

1 tsp. oregano

1 tsp. marjoram

1 1/2 cups tapioca flour

1 large egg, beaten

2 Tbs. coconut flour



Pizza Sauce:

1 large can (29 oz.) organic tomato sauce

1 small can (12 oz.) organic tomato paste

1/2 cup unrefined cane sugar

1 medium onion (sauteed)

1 tsp. basil

1 tsp. oregano

1 tsp. marjoram



Pizza Toppings:

1 lb. whole milk mozzarella (either real buffalo mozz or mozz from grass-fed cows if you can tolerate dairy, if not try nut cheese or go cheeseless), shredded

gluten-free, uncured pepperoni from pastured pigs or gluten-free, uncured salami cut with small, round cookie cutter



Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.



2. In a large saucepan over medium heat, bring the water, olive oil, salt, onion powder, basil, oregano, marjoram, and nutritional yeast to a boil.



3. While the oil and water mixture are heating, mix tomato sauce, tomato paste, sauteed onion, sugar, basil, oregano, and marjoram in saucepan and heat over medium heat.



4. Once the oil and water mixture are at a boil, add the tapioca flour and immediately remove from the heat. Keep stirring until you have a slightly crumbly to a slightly sticky dough.



5. Allow the dough to cool for 2 or 3 minutes. Place in a mixing bowl. Add egg and coconut flour. Mix and allow to sit for another 2 or 3 minutes to thicken up. Once thickened, knead until it forms a uniform, soft dough ball.



6. Place dough on a piece of parchment paper. Place another piece of parchment over it and roll out to a quarter of an inch thick. Pinch up sides to make a border for the sauce and toppings and to make the dough more round.



7. Remove the top sheet of parchment and place on a pizza pan or a large baking sheet. Cover with a light coat of olive oil to keep the crust from drying out.



8. Bake for 20 minutes, or until light golden brown. Remove from the oven.



9. Top with shredded cheese and pepperoni. Bake an additional 5-10 minutes, or until the cheese is melted. Slice and serve.

The Geek Family Kitchen: Minecraft-Inspired Snickerdoodle Apple Blocks

     This cobbler was inspired by a snickerdoodle apple cobbler recipe I saw online, as well as a favorite gaming pastime around here: Minecraft. Since we adhere to a Paleo way of eating, we decided to try our hand at a Paleo version of this delicious treat. You can watch my son, Victor, and me make these tasty morsels on our YouTube channel.







Snickerdoodle Apple Blocks Recipe



Ingredients:



1/2 cup coconut oil

1/2 cup Sun butter or almond butter

1/2 cup maple syrup

2 large eggs

1 Tbs. pure vanilla extract

2 cups blanched almond flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

5-7 slightly tart organic apples, such as Gala or Jazz

1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp. ground coriander

1/4 tsp. ground cloves

Juice of 1/4 lemon

1 Tbs. honey

1 Tbs. ground cinnamon

1 Tbs. coconut sugar



Directions:



1. Peel and roughly cut apples into small sauce pan. Add honey and lemon juice, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp coriander, 1/4 tsp cloves, plus a half-cup of water. Heat over medium heat until apples are soft.



2. While apples are cooking, preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease a 9" x 13" x 2" pan with coconut oil.



3. In a large mixing bowl, beat together coconut oil, sun butter, maple syrup, eggs, and vanilla until smooth.



4. In a separate bowl,whisk together flour, baking soda, and 1 tsp cinnamon.



5. While beating the wet mixture, slowly add the dry mixture until combined. The dough will be wet and sticky.



6. Drain apples of excess moisture.



7. Spread half of the dough mixture in the bottom of the greased pan. Make sure to spread mixture evenly.



8, Top dough with the apple filling. Then add the rest of the dough mixture.



9, Sprinkle cobbler evenly with 1 Tbs cinnamon and 1 Tbs coconut sugar.



10. Cover with foil, and bake for 26-28 minutes.



11. Allow cobbler to cool for about 10 minutes before cutting into blocks. Enjoy!

The Geek Family Kitchen: Custom Undertale Shirt

It's our first video. We made fan art into a custom T-shirt. Sorry about the sound. Our next video will be better. Lydia drew the art. If you like the video, please like and subscribe to our channel. We have big plans in the works for crafts and recipes.