Dorky Dates: Hogswatch Celebration

     You may be wondering what Hogswatch is all about, and I don't blame you. Up until 2006, I had never heard of Sir Terry Pratchett or any of his amazing books. Then a dear friend of mine handed me her copy of Equal Rites, a book about a girl who is bestowed the mantel of wizard in a world where women are witches and only men hold the title of wizard. It was one of Sir Pratchett's shortest books, but it packed a very funny punch from the moment you learn that a town called Bad Ass is named after a very stubborn mule to the very end. And if Unseen University seems a bit like Hogwarts, just keep in mind that Sir Pratchett's book came out in 1987, making him very clever, indeed, for stealing the idea of Hogswarts so many years before Ms. Rowling would write about it. (Please don't get mad at me. I am a fan of both the Discworld and Harry Potter. I just want it understood that Sir Pratchett wrote this many years before Harry Potter was even imagined. I get very sick and upset to know that there was ever a media feud started up between the two because I love them both.)

     Okay, Debra, but Equal Rites doesn't tell us anything about Hogswatch! True, but it's worth mentioning because it is how I got into the writings of Terry Pratchett, and boy was he prolific. After that fateful access to a new world full of rich, diverse, and hysterical characters, I began to devour Sir Pratchett's work.

     If you know anything about Sir Pratchett's work, you know that the character of Death is in every (or almost every, I'm not sure) book. He is a tall, skeletal figure, carrying a scythe and filled with good intentions. He first appears as a more "fleshed" out character in Mort, where he takes on an apprentice and introduces the young man to his adopted daughter. From there, you can follow Death and his family through Reaper Man and Soul Music. His story finally culminates in the fantastic book Hogfather, where Death takes on the role of a Santa Claus-like figure known as the Hogfather to save the Discworld with the help of his granddaughter.

     I cannot begin to tell you how much I love the Death series of books. The four book series is my favorite among all of Sir Pratchett's extensive work. Reaper Man and Hogfather are my two favorites among the Death series. But if you force me to make a choice, I'm going to have to pick Hogfather by a very thin margin, and it all has to do with the BBC movie.

     First of all, Sir Pratchett makes a cameo in the film as the toy maker. Secondly, it is a really great adaptation of the novel. Only minor changes are made, and you'd have to really be a big nerd who's read the book a million times to catch them (ahem). Third, Michelle Dockery (from Downtown Abby) plays Susan Sto Helit, and she truly embodies the inner babysitter. Forth, David Jason (the voice of Count Duckula) plays Albert, the most foul elf to ever help deliver toys. Fifth, the delightful cast of misfits, including Banjo, Bilious the oh god of hangovers, Corporal Knobbs, Ponder Stibbons, Ridcully, the Tooth Fairy, Bogey Men, the and the Verruca Gnome. And last, but certainly not least, Marc Warren as Jonathan Teatime. Who is Marc Warren? He was Elton Pope in one of my favorite episodes of Dr. Who called "Love & Monsters" (2006).

     I'm sorry if I've gone on for a bit, but I really do love this movie, the book, Sir Terry Pratchett, and the whole of the Discoworld. I am forever in gratitude to my friend for introducing me to this world, and if I can share the experience, then I can pay it forward.

Cost
This date may run a little more expensive than some of the other dates we've shared. Unless you are me or some huge fan of Sir Pratchett, you may not have a copy of Hogfather, If this is the case, you may be able to catch it on television around the holidays (the first time I saw it was on cable one Christmas Eve) and plan your date accordingly. If not, then you might want to purchase a copy here. Or if you're lucky, you may be able to find it at your local library. The only other expense will be the food, and we went all out for this pseudo-holiday feast. We made hot cocoa with homemade marshmallows and pork pies (made with gluten-free crust) with gluten-free mustard and relish.


Who Would Enjoy It
This is a really fun date for a couple or a whole family, especially if you throw in some holiday decorating while enjoying the movie and the delicious fare.


What You May Need
Food:

• Hot chocolate or other favorite holiday beverage
• Pork pies with favorite pork pie condiments, be it mustard and relish, mustard and chutney, or mushy peas and mint sauce
• Napkins
• Sherry* (optional, but traditional to leave out for the Hogfather)

Movie:

• A copy of Hogfather
• Comfortable places to sit or lay down
• Favorite device for watching movies

Decorating:

• Favorite holiday decorations

Getting Comfy
You really need to think comfort when you settle in for a movie, especially if you going to a warm and cozy holiday atmosphere. You need a place to sit or lay for every person who plans to indulge in the activity. It is also important to have a clean house, especially if you plan to decorate, as this will make decorating far more enjoyable.

Special Considerations

• While we had hot chocolate and pork pies (pork pies are traditional on Hogswatch), you may want to consider different food that reminds you of your favorite holiday. We tend to do this date in late November/early December, so we can decorate our house for Christmas, so having traditional Hogswatch food does not take away from our normal Christmas foods. We may also want to consider whether you want to pig out and eat all types of bad food, or do you want to make healthier versions of your favorite treats? We tried to strike a balance, keeping to gluten free crust and mustard and making everything from scratch, but we did ingest a lot of sugar with the hot chocolate and the marshmallows. You may also want to decide if you're going to make the food before or during the movie. We made it during, simply because of time constraints, but I would have loved to have sat down and watched the whole thing.
• The second consideration is if you do decide to make pork pies, you may want to make your pork ahead of time. We cooked out pork in the slow cooker the night before and shredded it the day of. You may also want to make the marshmallow ahead of time, so that it sets properly. We made it for the video, so it did not have time to set properly. Normally we would have made them the night before.
• The third consideration is etiquette and rules. Will you pause movies for bathroom breaks? Will you pause for discussions, or will people be encouraged to keep their mouths shut during the movies? If you want people to stay quiet, will their be a time for discussion after the movie or during the credits?
• The fourth consideration is to think about taking a slight break between the first and second part up and move around. This movie was made for British television and is a little over three hours long, so taking a break is advised.
• The fifth consideration is to decide if you will decorate during the movie. If so, make sure to have your decorations ready to go out. Make sure you have a clean house, or at least, a clean room for decorating. Even if you enjoy watching movies in the dark, you may want to have some light source while decorating, so that no one gets hurt.

Geek Family Kitchen: Nerdy Christmas Shirts

     Have you ever looked at Christmas shirts and thought, "These aren't for me. These are too cute/too ugly/too normal. Where are the Christmas shirts that depict my fandom? Where are my nerdy Christmas shirts?!"

     Well, I have some good news and some bad news. You may not be able to find your fandom represented in a fun and Christmas-y way, but with a plain shirt, a bit of fabric paint, and some fun fan art, you can make your own.

What You'll Need:
T-shirts or sweat shirt (preferably plain)
Shirt board or cardboard to place inside shirt
Washable fabric pencil to mark design on shirt
Fan art (preferably Christmas-y) Paint brushes Acrylic paint or fabric paint Fabric medium* (*optional: use only if you are using acrylic paint to turn it into fabric paint) Parchment paper

Directions:
1. Wash shirt and dry without using fabric softener.

2. Place shirt board or cardboard into shirt, so back of shirt does not absorb paint and layers don't get stuck together.

3. Transfer fan art onto shirt using washable fabric pencil.

4. Paint design on shirt. If you use fabric paint, you will not need to alter the paint, but if you use acrylic paint, you will need to mix it with fabric medium according to the directions stated on the bottle.

5. Allow shirt to dry before removing from shirt board. You may want to occasionally lift the drying front off the board slights to ensure the fabric does NOT stick to the board.

6. Enjoy your Christmas shirt.

Dorky Date: Tron Marathon & Arcade Food

     Ah, the '80's. We had so much fun back then, going to arcades, spending all of our quarters to play video games. The big arcade where I grew up was in a shopping mall near the food court, so you could get any food you wanted, but there were smaller arcades around that were in bowling alleys, and we even had a diner that had a few arcade cases. I don't remember ever going to an arcade that was a dedicated arcade building, but I know there were some. I loved arcade games, even though I wasn't very good at them. I especially loved watching other people play, so when Tron came out, it seemed perfect for me. I remember watching it with my dad and really loving the whole feel of the movie, even if I didn't necessarily understand the plot at the time. This date mixes the nostalgia of the original Tron, the excitement of the newer Tron Legacy, and the deliciousness of arcade/bowling alley food for a fun date night in.


Cost
This date can be relatively cheap if you already own both Tron movies. An alternative is to check them out at your local library or rent them from your favorite service. If you buy them, it will be a bit more expensive, but then you can replicate this date whenever you please. The other expense will of course be the food which can range from cheap hot dogs and fries to more expensive organic, grass-fed all-beef hot dogs (which I strongly recommend). We made our own curly fries using a spiralizing attachment on our Kitchen Aid and a couple of sweet potatoes.


Who Would Enjoy It
While Ray and I were the only ones on this date, it could also be interesting for a family movie marathon night or a group. Just make sure you have plenty of comfortable seating for all invited and a variety of condiments, so people can customize their own hot dogs.


What You May Need
Food:

• Your favorite hot dogs
• French fries, potatoes, or sweet potatoes
• Condiments
• Napkins
• Your favorite beverage, sodas would be customary

Movie Marathon:

• A copy of Tron and Tron Legacy
• Comfortable places to sit or lay down
• Favorite device for watching movies

Getting Comfy
You really need to think comfort when you settle in for a movie marathon. You need a place to sit or lay for every person who plans to indulge in the activity. We put mattresses, pillows, and blankets on the floor near the couches, so we could sit or lay down, according to our desire at the time. This also afforded us plenty of room to wallow and change positions. If you include children in the marathon, make sure they have something to do if they get bored of watching the movies.

Special Considerations

• While we had hot dogs and curly fries, you may want to consider different foods that remind you of the fare you would indulge in at an arcade. Would you rather have hamburgers, chilly dogs, nachos, onion rings, pizza slices? Are you going to take this time to pig out and eat all types of bad food, or do you want to make healthier versions of your favorite treats? Will you interrupt your marathon to make food, or do you want to prepare meals ahead of time?
• The second consideration is movie marathon etiquette and rules. Will you pause movies for bathroom breaks? Will you pause for discussions, or will people be encouraged to keep their mouths shut during the movies? If you want people to stay quiet, will their be a time for discussion after the movie or during the credits? Will you watch the special features or wait until a different time when you're just watching one movie? Will you watch the movie with the commentary?
• The third consideration is to think about taking a slight break between the two movies to get up and move around. Remember that a movie marathon is about the journey, not the destination.

Geek Family Kitchen: Gluten-Free Cupcakes

It's so hard for my kids to be invited to a birthday party and pass on the cupcakes, but when they give in and eat them, they end up feeling terrible. These cupcakes are not only fun and tasty, but they are inspired by the cupcake from Five Nights at Freddy's. Sadly, I forgot how best to make icing that is not full of junky ingredients, so the icing did not turn out too pretty, but it was still delicious! These cupcakes are gluten and refined sugar free, but they are still moist and chocolaty. Enjoy!

Makes about 5 large cupcakes or 10 regular sized cupcakes.

Ingredients:

1/2 cup coconut flour

1/3 cup melted coconut oil

4 eggs

3 1/2 oz. dark chocolate, melted (to keep it paleo, get the best dark chocolate you can afford)

1/2 cup honey

1 cup strawberry puree

1 Tbs. vanilla extract

2 Tbs. coconut milk

1/4 tsp. sea salt

1/4 tsp. baking soda



Icing:

1/3 cup coconut milk, cold

1 Tbs. beet juice

1/4 cup honey

6 Tbs. coconut oil

1/4 cup ghee



Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Use silicon cupcakes wrappers, or grease a muffin tin.



2. To Make Cupcake: Thoroughly combine coconut flour, sea salt, and baking soda.



3. Add in coconut oil, eggs, dark chocolate, honey, strawberry puree, vanilla, and coconut milk. Mix well.



4. Fill cupcake cups about 2/3's of the way full.



5. Bake for 20 - 30 minutes (this will largely depend on what size cupcake you make) or until a toothpick can be inserted into the center of the cupcake and come out clean.



6. To Make Icing: Add coconut oil and ghee to microwave safe bowl. Heat on low for about 30 seconds. Check. Continue to microwave on low at 10 second intervals until melted. Do not boil.



7. Add beet juice, coconut milk, and honey while whisking. Once it is smooth, place in the refrigerator while cupcakes cool (about 15 minutes).



8. Mix icing once more. Ice cupcakes. This is more of a glaze than a frosting, so the icing will melt into the cupcakes, making them even more moist and delicious.

Halloween Costume Reveal 2016: Five Nights at Freddy's

We worked so hard on these costumes, and I think they turned out to be awesome! We had so much fun, and they took months to make. We really had a great day of costumes and fun. This was during our Whole 30 (day 29, to be exact), but we still had a blast! And we scared a few kids and got recognized as Five Nights at Freddy's characters. I can't wait until Fanatacon when we get to wear these again!



If you want to see our Whole 30, I've created a playlist here.

Geek Family Kitchen: Minecraft Dragon Eggs

This craft was a lot of fun. Victor always has some fun ideas concerning how he would make video games, and when it comes to Minecraft, he has many, including this one: to make a dragon's egg from a chicken egg and an Eye of Ender.

What You'll Need:
Chicken eggs (we used 4)
Knife (if you want to cut one egg in half for a hatched egg)
Awl
Baby nasal aspirator (optional, if you don't want to put your mouth on the egg)
Slick black paint
Metallic purple paint
Paint brushes

Directions:
1. To cut an egg in half for a hatched egg, place an egg on its side in a pan with a paper towel. Saw steadily with a knife until it splits in two. (This actually works!)

2. To blow out eggs, tap a small hole into the top of the egg and a larger hole into the bottom. Scramble the contents of the egg, then blow the contents out.

3. Wash eggs gently to remove residual egg contents and allow to dry.

4. Once dry, paint to eggs to look like Minecraft dragon eggs. Use as decorations or as cascarones.

For the instructions to the Eye of Ender, become a Patron https://www.patreon.com/DebrathePaleoista and receive that and many more patterns and fun things!

Geek Family Kitchen: FNAF Pumpkin Carving

     I love Halloween. I love all things Halloween. I also love Five Nights at Freddy's, especially the Marionette. That's why Lydia and I decided to carve the Marionette into a pumpkin.



     There is nothing better than spending time with people you love in ways that don't always involve food. And crafting is one our absolute favorites.



What You'll Need:

Newspaper or towels to protect your surface and for easy cleanup

Pumpkin

Pattern

Masking tape

Awl

Carving tools

Paintbrush

Craft glue

Purple glitter

Red glitter

Black paint

Candle



Directions:

1. Cut an access hole in your pumpkin.



2. Scoop "guts" out and clean pumpkin up.



3. Tape pattern down.



4. Poke holes around pattern lines to make a guide for your carving.



5. Cut out parts you want hollow.



6. Peel off parts you want semi-opaque.



7. Leave other parts solid.



8. Paint glue on the parts you want to be purple, and sprinkle purple glitter.



9. Paint glue on the parts you want to be red, and sprinkle red glitter.



10. Paint parts you want black with black paint.



11. Place candle in pumpkin and light for good, clean Halloween fun!

Dorky Dates: Picnic & Tombstone Rubbings

     Some graveyards are absolutely beautiful. And why not? Wouldn't you want your final resting spot to be in a gorgeous location? That doesn't even take into account how beautiful some tombstones are. If you want to make a haunting memory of your day, grab some paper and chalk pastels, pack a picnic, and do a little research.


Cost
This date can cost a little bit of money (not much), due to the fact that you need to have the proper supplies to rub tombstones (large paper, chalk pastels or charcoal, a mailing tube for safe keeping, hairspray or Krylon sealer) and the supplies for a picnic (cooler, food, blanket, etc.).


Graveyard Etiquette
Be respectful! This is the final resting place of people who were beloved by their friends and families. Make sure you have permission from the cemetery management to make rubbings, as it is prohibited in some cemeteries. If there are others there who are mourning their loved ones, make sure to have the utmost respect. Treat this as an anthropological study, and possibly scout out a separate (preferably close) location for your picnic.


Who Would Enjoy It
While Ray and I were the only ones who went on this date, this date could be interesting for a group. Just make sure you pick your group from people you know can be respectful. This is not a good outing for your rowdier friends, especially the ones who like to drink and cause trouble. And while you might enjoy a bottle of wine or champagne at your picnic, this may not be the proper time for this activity (unless you have your picnic afterwards and in a different location).


What You May Need
Picnic Supplies:

• Comfortable places to sit or lay down

• A blanket or tablecloth for sitting on

• A picnic basket or tote for your dishes, napkins, utensils, etc.

• Dishes, cups or bottles, napkins, eating utensils, serving utensils, containers for your food and drinks
• Cooler for food and drinks

• Food and drink that are good for picnic, i.e. portable, finger foods, tasty morsels for you to enjoy (We took sweet potato salad with chunks of ham in it, sunbutter stuffed dates, carrot sticks, and water with tea bags to give it a different flavor. Had we not been doing a Whole30, we probably would have included something chocolate.)

Tombstone Rubbing Supplies:

• Large paper

• Artist charcoal, chalk pastels, or crayons (crayons do not work as well in my opinion)
• Masking tape can be used, but it may mess up some of the older tombstones, so use with care
• Hairspray or Krylon sealer to preserve your rubbings, especially if you are using charcoal or chalk pastels
• Mailing tube to store your rubbings
• Soft bristle toothbrush, water, and soft cloth for drying (this can help remove debris from a dirty tombstone)

Special Considerations
No one wants to mess up a tombstone, so be careful. Make sure that the stones you want to rub are solid by giving them light knock. If they sound hollow, try a different stone. Some stones may need to be cleaned before they can be rubbed. You can do this with a soft bristled brush. You may also need water to loosen some of the crud that has accumulated. You will also want to do this when it has been clear weather for several days because wet tombstones will not work. Windy weather may also not be your best bet, as the paper may not want to cooperate. 

Geek Family Kitchen: 4 Game Night Dips

Do you love creamy dips, but hate the crappy ingredients you find in the processed varieties in the store? Then you're in luck! These dips are perfect for chips, vegetables, and anything else you can think of. And you can make them with just a few ingredients and a lot of patience.

I know, patience is not a strength for most people today, but believe me when I say it's worth it. Homemade mayonnaise takes a lot of patience. After that, just add your favorite ingredients to turn this creamy colloid into a delicious dip.

Homemade Avocado Oil Mayonnaise:

Ingredients:

2 eggs

1 freshly squeezed lemon

1 17 oz. bottle of avocado oil (separate out 1/4 cup)

3/4 tsp. sea salt

3/4 tsp. mustard powder

Directions:

1. Combine eggs and lemon juice together and allow to come to room temperature. This will take 15 to 30 minutes.

2. Once they've reached room temperature together, add in the 1/4 cup of oil, salt, and mustard powder. Blend thoroughly.

3. While mixing the ingredients on high, slowly pour in the rest of the oil. This takes a lot of patience. If you do this step too quickly, it will not create an emulsion. If you do this by hand, it will take even more patience, because you will have to mix vigorously, add a little oil, mix vigorously, add a little oil, repeat. If you use and immersion blender (the fastest way), you will blend with the stick, add a little oil, blend, add oil, repeat. If you use a food processor with a hole in the lid, just run it as you add the oil through the hole, but still, pour it very slowly.

Honey Mustard:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup mayonnaise

2 Tbs. honey

1 Tbs. gluten-free mustard

1/4 tsp. dried dill

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly.

2. Enjoy now or refrigerate.

Cooling Spice Dip:

Ingredients:

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1/4 tsp. turmeric

1/4 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. cumin

1/4 tsp. dried oregano

1/4 tsp. black pepper

1/4 tsp. onion powder

1/4 tsp. garlic powder

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly.

2. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours to allow the flavors to blend.

"Cheesy" Ranch Dip

Ingredients:

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1 Tbs. full-fat coconut milk

1 tsp. dried dill

1/2 tsp. dried parsley flakes

Dash of black pepper

1/4 tsp. onion or garlic powder

1/4 tsp. smoked paprika

1 Tbs. nutritional yeast flakes

Directions:

1. Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly.

2. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours to allow the flavors to blend.

Creamy Guacamole

Ingredients:

1/2 cup mayonnaise

2 ripe avocados

1/4 tsp. cumin

1/4 tsp. onion powder or 1 diced onion

Cayenne pepper to taste

2 Roma tomatoes, diced

Directions:

1. Combine mayonnaise and avocado and mix thoroughly.

2. Add cumin, onion powder (if using), and cayenne, and mix thoroughly.

3. Stir in diced tomatoes and diced onion (if using).

4. Serve immediately, or refrigerate no more than a couple of hours, as the avocado will oxidize and look disgusting.

Beets and Sweets Chips:

Ingredients:

Sweet potatoes

Beets

Lard or coconut oil for frying

Sea salt

Directions:

1. Heat oil to between 365 and 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Cut vegetables to desired thickness. I suggest you cut them very thin if you are going for a chip consistency.

3. Fry vegetables. Sweet potatoes are easy to tell when they are done because they get a golden brown. Beets are harder to tell. They are best when crispy.

Geek Family Kitchen: Lightsaber Hilt

     When Ray made a lightsaber for himself years ago, you can bet I was jealous. I was busy with school and my art projects at the time and didn't have much time for crafts. I tried to get Ray to make me one, but he insisted that it was a craft that should be individualized. When I asked him what he wanted to do for the video, he suggested we make lightsabers together, since I never made my own. I was thrilled!



     Now you can make your own. This doesn't have any sort of light or blade, but it can be worn as a cool prop for your favorite Jedi costume.



What You'll Need:

3/4" wooden dowel

Sand paper

Faucet handle

Faucet head

1/2" hose clamp

Epoxy

Metallic spray paint

Mod Podge or other sealer

Craft foam

Crystal

Button-sized jewel or semi-precious stone



Directions:

1. Cut your dowel to the length you want your hilt to be. Sand the dowel with sand paper.



2. Drill pilot hole at one end of dowel. Pop end off faucet handle and replace the screw that it came with with a wood screw. Attach the handle to the dowel with the wood screw and replace the faucet end.



3. Fill in the gap between the faucet handle and dowel with epoxy or similar substance. Smooth it to desired taper. Allow it to dry or harden.



4. Fit hose clamp onto dowel. Set it to where you'd like your switch to be. Tighten clamp.



5. Taper the end of the dowel opposite the end with the handle. If you want your faucet head to retain its original colors, leave it off. If you want it a homogeneous color, glue it on. (We started with E600, but found out the hot glue actually works better.)



6. Sand the plastic pieces of your lightsaber to give them a rougher texture to better hold the paint.



7. Spray paint the lightsaber thoroughly. Allow to dry for 24 hours.



8. Seal the lightsaber with Mod Podge or other sealer. Allow to dry for 24 hours.



9. If you left the faucet head off for painting, it is now time to attach it with hot glue. If you left it on, skip to step 10.



10. Decorate your lightsaber with strips of craft foam.



11.  Finish the saber off by gluing the crystal into the end of the faucet head and the jewel or stone onto the switch.

Geek Family Kitchen: Five Nights at Freddy's-Inspired Gluten-Free Pizza

Freddy Fazbear's Award-Winning Gluten-Free Pepperoni Pizza



     This pizza was inspired by one of our favorite series of horror games: Five Nights at Freddy's. If you don't know what that is, it's a game full of creepy animatronics that jump-scare you any time you mess up. The game was designed by Scott Cawthon, a Christian game designer who created a game called Chipper & Sons Lumber Co. Sadly, his earlier attempts at game design fell flat, and the aforementioned Chipper & Sons Lumber Co. was unintentionally terrifying with people citing that his CGI characters looked like creepy animatronics.



     If you do know the game, then you know that the Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria has many pictures on the walls of its iconic pepperoni pizza. We couldn't find good, high-quality, gluten-free pepperoni, so we had to use our favorite salami and cut it smaller with a cookie cutter to achieve the desired look of Freddy's pizza.



Our pizza crust is one of our family's absolute favorite. It is a slight variation on Kelly Bejelly's Pizza Crust from her book: Paleo Eats. You can also find her recipe on her website. This crust is a bit tricky, but well worth it.



Ingredients:

Pizza Crust:

1/2 cup water

1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 Tbs. nutritional yeast (optional for cheesy flavor)

1 tsp. sea salt

1 tsp. onion powder

1 tsp. basil

1 tsp. oregano

1 tsp. marjoram

1 1/2 cups tapioca flour

1 large egg, beaten

2 Tbs. coconut flour



Pizza Sauce:

1 large can (29 oz.) organic tomato sauce

1 small can (12 oz.) organic tomato paste

1/2 cup unrefined cane sugar

1 medium onion (sauteed)

1 tsp. basil

1 tsp. oregano

1 tsp. marjoram



Pizza Toppings:

1 lb. whole milk mozzarella (either real buffalo mozz or mozz from grass-fed cows if you can tolerate dairy, if not try nut cheese or go cheeseless), shredded

gluten-free, uncured pepperoni from pastured pigs or gluten-free, uncured salami cut with small, round cookie cutter



Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.



2. In a large saucepan over medium heat, bring the water, olive oil, salt, onion powder, basil, oregano, marjoram, and nutritional yeast to a boil.



3. While the oil and water mixture are heating, mix tomato sauce, tomato paste, sauteed onion, sugar, basil, oregano, and marjoram in saucepan and heat over medium heat.



4. Once the oil and water mixture are at a boil, add the tapioca flour and immediately remove from the heat. Keep stirring until you have a slightly crumbly to a slightly sticky dough.



5. Allow the dough to cool for 2 or 3 minutes. Place in a mixing bowl. Add egg and coconut flour. Mix and allow to sit for another 2 or 3 minutes to thicken up. Once thickened, knead until it forms a uniform, soft dough ball.



6. Place dough on a piece of parchment paper. Place another piece of parchment over it and roll out to a quarter of an inch thick. Pinch up sides to make a border for the sauce and toppings and to make the dough more round.



7. Remove the top sheet of parchment and place on a pizza pan or a large baking sheet. Cover with a light coat of olive oil to keep the crust from drying out.



8. Bake for 20 minutes, or until light golden brown. Remove from the oven.



9. Top with shredded cheese and pepperoni. Bake an additional 5-10 minutes, or until the cheese is melted. Slice and serve.

The Geek Family Kitchen: Minecraft-Inspired Snickerdoodle Apple Blocks

     This cobbler was inspired by a snickerdoodle apple cobbler recipe I saw online, as well as a favorite gaming pastime around here: Minecraft. Since we adhere to a Paleo way of eating, we decided to try our hand at a Paleo version of this delicious treat. You can watch my son, Victor, and me make these tasty morsels on our YouTube channel.







Snickerdoodle Apple Blocks Recipe



Ingredients:



1/2 cup coconut oil

1/2 cup Sun butter or almond butter

1/2 cup maple syrup

2 large eggs

1 Tbs. pure vanilla extract

2 cups blanched almond flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

5-7 slightly tart organic apples, such as Gala or Jazz

1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp. ground coriander

1/4 tsp. ground cloves

Juice of 1/4 lemon

1 Tbs. honey

1 Tbs. ground cinnamon

1 Tbs. coconut sugar



Directions:



1. Peel and roughly cut apples into small sauce pan. Add honey and lemon juice, 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp coriander, 1/4 tsp cloves, plus a half-cup of water. Heat over medium heat until apples are soft.



2. While apples are cooking, preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease a 9" x 13" x 2" pan with coconut oil.



3. In a large mixing bowl, beat together coconut oil, sun butter, maple syrup, eggs, and vanilla until smooth.



4. In a separate bowl,whisk together flour, baking soda, and 1 tsp cinnamon.



5. While beating the wet mixture, slowly add the dry mixture until combined. The dough will be wet and sticky.



6. Drain apples of excess moisture.



7. Spread half of the dough mixture in the bottom of the greased pan. Make sure to spread mixture evenly.



8, Top dough with the apple filling. Then add the rest of the dough mixture.



9, Sprinkle cobbler evenly with 1 Tbs cinnamon and 1 Tbs coconut sugar.



10. Cover with foil, and bake for 26-28 minutes.



11. Allow cobbler to cool for about 10 minutes before cutting into blocks. Enjoy!

The Geek Family Kitchen: Custom Undertale Shirt

It's our first video. We made fan art into a custom T-shirt. Sorry about the sound. Our next video will be better. Lydia drew the art. If you like the video, please like and subscribe to our channel. We have big plans in the works for crafts and recipes.

I Wouldn't Want to Go Anywhere Without My Wonderful Towel

     Yesterday was Towel Day, and some people may be wondering just how useful is a towel anyway. If you are one of those people who wonder why, beyond the obvious, a towel would be useful, you are probably one of those people who never had a security blanket. I was one of those people who had one. I even got called Linus quite a bit, but my blanket was very useful. I could use it for comfort, warm, dresses, and a bindle. While I still have fond memories of my blanket, I put some thought into it, and a towel is infinitely more useful, and I'll tell you why.

     The obvious use for a towel is to dry yourself or others off, but when I decided to write this article, I wanted to go beyond the obvious. Then there are the places where towels and blankets overlap. You can use both as a pillow, to lay on, as a pet bed, to cover you for warmth, to cover you for protection (-2 penalty to attack rolls), emotional comfort, physical comfort (folded up for a seat cushion, wrapped around the hand as a pot holder/oven mitt, placed under knees when kneeling on hard floor, as a makeshift saddle, or seat cover in a hot vehicle), a bag of holding, a gag, a welcome mat, as a costume effect (i.e. pregnant, beer gut, or ghost), kindling for a fire, to communicate long distance with smoke signals, a garrote, to muffle noise (giving a +2 to sneak attack), as a makeshift ironing board, window blinds, privacy curtain, exercise equipment, packing material, a surface cover (such as picnic blanket, tablecloth, bread basket liner, candle mat, or craft mat), first aid (as a sling, a brace, a makeshift stretcher, a bandage, or a tourniquet) and as clothing, including: diapers, a head cover in sunny places, a face mask in windy or smelly circumstances, makeshift gloves if halved, a poncho, an apron, a sari, a lavalava, makeshift shoes if halved, and a death shroud.

     What sets the towel above and beyond the blanket is that it can also be used to clean up messes, as a canteen of sorts (a good terry cloth towel can absorb and hold a lot of water), and in the following ways:

A towel deals 1d4 points of nonlethal damage. When dry, it deals no damage to any creature with an armor bonus of +1 or higher or a natural armor bonus of +3 or higher. When wet, it deals no damage to any creature with an armor bonus of +3 or higher or a natural armor bonus of +5 or higher. The towel is treated as a melee weapon with a 3-7 foot reach, according to type of towel, though you don't threaten the area into which you can make an attack. In addition, unlike most other weapons with reach, you can use it against foes anywhere within your reach (including adjacent foes).

Using a towel provokes an attack of opportunity, just as if you had used a ranged weapon.

You can make trip attacks with a towel. If you are tripped during your own trip attempt, you can use the towel to disarm your attacker.

When using a towel, you get a +2 bonus on opposed attack rolls made to disarm an opponent (including the roll to keep from being disarmed if the attack fails).

You can use the Hoopy Frood feat to apply your Dexterity modifier instead of your Charisma modifier to all Diplomacy checks while carrying your towel.